“For hell’s sake!” came streaming out of my pursed lips as I rolled the car to the side of the dark, winding road, which glistened like the slippery backside of a serpentine as the gravel on the shoulder crunched under the passenger tires and the car ceased to roll any further. Slumping against the backrest, sighing. Why is it that this feels like I’ve been here before. A touch of Deja Vu possibly. “Well it’s damn dark in the middle of nowhere”. Speaking out loud as if I expected some kind of answer. Giggling as I pulled a half crushed cigarette out of the pack. Taking a big draw and flooding my lungs as I opened the drivers side door and stepped out into the cool night air. It had to have just rained as the pavement under my boots was still wet and glistening in the moonlight. Laughing and speaking to myself once again “This is so much like the beginning of a horror movie, the places I find myself sometimes.”.
Gathering a few things out of the car, my backpack. Always there in case of a quick bug out, a jacket, a flashlight and few other miscellaneous items. I decided to walk it to the next gas station. Cell phone service out here was spotty if even that much. The gas station was only a couple miles up the road and although dark, nothing I haven’t had to do before. Or well, had thought I had done this before, exactly this at least once. Fighting against a ever growing nagging in my gut I started walking towards the gas station. The farther I walked along the bigger the nagging turned into gnawing and the darker the street became as the trees seemed to grow larger and literally hung over the two lane country road.
The moonlight faded away as the sky began to sprinkle the ever slightest vapor of rain. “What in the fuck am I doing?”, I stopped for a moment as I felt the world spin and that nagging feeling gripped a hold of my stomach as I gagged, almost letting go of the only meal I had eaten today. Panic ran through my body making my skin crawl. The feeling wasn’t just a nagging, as right then, I didn’t feel like I was alone at all. As a matter of fact I felt like I was inside a crystal ball. Pretty damn sure I had been here, exactly in this place, in this same time before. Not sure what frightened me more, the feeling that I was being watched, or the place where I was, to say the least I was vulnerable out here. Or the fact that I felt like I had done this exact thing before, better yet this very thing, the words I said, the feelings, the exact steps. I had done this before. But why do I feel like I have watched myself do this from a far? I attempted to laugh it all off and strike one up for imagination driving my fear. Why not, isn’t that one of the things that we crave, being scared, scaring ourselves? Oh and what better way to do that then on a creepy old country road in the dark alone.
Laughter, I stopped walking, not sure if that laugh even came out of my own throat. That thought did indeed make me laugh and I carried on, moving forward into the growing darkness. I lit another cigarette and trotted ahead. I could see a streetlight illuminating the corner just a little and I began to walk faster. As the bend in the road approached I slowed my pace as the slap of noxious odor blew against my face. Cringing and fighting back the urge to vomit, I stopped. The air had warmed here, not just slightly either as I was able to watch the steam roll up in wafting streams from the blacktop. It was rather warm here, enough so that I found myself wriggling out of my jacket and wrapping it around my waist. The warmth was welcomed, the odor that seemed to envelope me in its caustic, wreak was not. Although not a pleasant odor, it was a familiar odor. One that if it has passed across your odoriferous cavities previously, is one that you never forget.
My heart began to race, pounding like a bass drum in chest, making the only noise I could clearly hear the beat of my own heart as I stood there, all of a sudden empty, alone and seemingly aware that something was very wrong. I should keep walking, I should. I kept telling myself, damn it, keep walking, and walk fast. Instead, I found myself moving towards the darkness out of the circle of light that was faint as the street lamps canvass just barely began to break the night at this bend in the road.
Backing into the darkness towards the tree line, boot heels digging into the soft, wet earth beneath my feet, I felt naked as my inner will was set on edge, having gone into full protection mode. Panic reached for me, unsuccessful in it’s grasp as I reached the treeline. Full fight mode ensued as all my senses stood at their peak. Taking in the surroundings as I fought the breathe that smell in too deep. The smell of rot. The decaying of flesh, mixed with rain and there was something else present too. What was that scent, also familiar, yet one that I had not smelled in a very long time. Resting against the big, harsh oak behind me as I gathered in all the surroundings.
Moving just slightly into the wood-line, crouching as I watched and listened. I felt my heart beat in my chest like a bass drum on steroids, it was thunderous I thought for sure whatever else might be out here certainly heard it as well. Trying to focus as the moist air began to cling to my chest, I heard it then a faint growl or groan. My breathe came in stuttering waves as I attempted to conceal myself behind this big old oak tree. I must have been on the verge of fainting as my eyes were only able to focus on a slight green hue across the glistening road. It was coming from the woods across the way. It wasn’t just green, using that color to describe it was wrong, it was blue and green and white all at the same time.The world swayed in front of me and went dark.
Opening my eyes to the sound of humming. It was humming, a mechanical humming. Slowly sitting up. How long had I been out? I looked once more across the street and gasped at what I saw. There were no longer trees there, there was no longer a road there. It was just blank. This is some kind of a trick, it had to be, the earth does not just erase pieces of itself. Except at this moment it had.
Slowly I backed away in the woods behind me. Either something was very wrong with me or something major had happened while I lay there unconscious. It was then that the sound pierced my ears, a deep sigh, raspy unto itself. My skin crawled with goosebumps as I turned. The bag in my hand fell to the ground as the stench of decay wafted to my nostrils and I screamed, the thing that stood in front of me screamed too.
Thick saliva spewing from it’s gnarling teeth as it began to laugh. The panic inside of me rose as a shiver went down my spine. The creature stood there, and in a moments flash, I wondered could it actually see me? It smelt me, it heard me, so why hadn’t it attacked me. The nauseous feeling crept up inside me, this thing was rank, overpoweringly so. I was going to vomit and it would definitely know exactly where I was. As I choked back my lunch, moving slightly to to the right, I was right! This creature couldn’t see me. I slide to my right again, trying to be quieter than a mouse. If this thing got a hold of me I was not going to get away. It was all of 7 foot tall and solid as a horse. That’s when I saw it. A small flash on the things hand, a ring. One that I had seen many times before. As I continued to slide into the darkness. That being called out, but who or what was it calling out to?
My mind was racing, my skin crawling in fear and my body shivered in terror as I moved cautiously into the heavy wooded area. Coming to an old dilapidated building, I decided to enter. Moving behind the doorway to the right I heard it, panting. The sound was shallow, and rapid and just what was I thinking? What was going on here, had I walked into another dimension? Where exactly was I? The wetness on my skin had seeped through my clothes and although it was warm outside in here it was as cold as an icebox.
My body repulsed against the cold air. The darkness was thick and solid as pitch, do I turn on my flashlight? Do I run out of here in fear? Listening closely to the surroundings, I heard the shallow breathing, almost a panting, it had to be approximately 6 feet away, straight forward and to the right. Slowly, with palm over the torch end of the flashlight I saw what lay ahead. This was an old warehouse, there was a thing, a person, or what was a person standing facing the opposite wall. The sound of the being from outside rang loudly and the answer came, from out of the mouth of this thing a gurgling, growl as it turned and moved directly past me out the doorway into the night.
Petrified my legs extended and I stood up. Moving cautiously, deeper the building. I saw the glow of the strange illumination I had seen across the road previously. I was pulled backwards as my hair was pulled, some ripped out as the cold hard head of something slammed into my forehead. My world shook for a moment as I got hold of my space and realized that this thing, huge, muscled, with a whitish blue skin was dragging me. No sound escaped me although I attempted to scream. The hand that had my head, suddenly let go and as I gained my feet this being came at me. It’s teeth sharp and silvery in the glow from the illumination. It began to gnash its teeth rapidly and I came to the realization that I was his meal. My knife, I had my knife. Smooth and sharp and solid. Bug out bag, good thing for my lack of trust and paranoia.
I gripped the handle with every ounce of strength I had as the huge thing came at me, slightly bent forward. With the knife in my right hand, one swift slash across his throat proved worthy as some gooey, thick substance came spewing from his throat as his thick sharp nails ripped at my shirt. My knife found the right side of it’s neck and plunged into the flesh there. It fell to it’s knees and began to gurgle and flail in the strange light. My feet took me deeper into the building closer to the light inside. Unable to grasp with my head what the hell was going on. Moving faster I rounded the corner and came to an abrupt halt as I could not believe what lay before my eyes.
Pain seared through my head as the sound of my skull cracking ripped through my ears and I fell to my knees. Barley alert the sight of blood pooling around my knees, shimmered in the fantastic light as my world faded with only pain remaining and the sound of ripping flesh as the thing from outside clamped it’s teeth into my neck. What lay in front of me was a spinning aura of amazing light. Surrounding it was nothing, nothing at all. It was if the world was being erased and in it’s place strange beings, larger than life come here for what? I would never know the answer as I screamed. Floating, I was floating. Looking back at myself, my fear was gone and I ascended. No longer were the boundaries, no longer did I care as I watched that being devour my flesh, I was floating.
The darkness caresses holding tightly through the night. Silence is deafening, only the ever faint whisper of the breeze as it rustles the leaves. The only sign that your still alive. As pitch holds its embrace like a child clinging to its mother. Every movement no matter how small the shadows move in perfect rhythm not releasing it’s embrace..
Heart racing as you run faster, trying to outpace the blackness with no use it never lags behind. Stopping to catch your breathe the darkness invading your throat choking you. As you spit and cough the invasion of darkness seeping into your every pore, weighing you down.
Slowly pushing forward, tripping over your own feet, barely able to see where you’re going. Guided by only the sound of the leaves crunching under feet. You stumble and fall reaching for anything and nothing at all. The heart beats so strong you feel it throbbing in your eardrums as you fumble along. Are you farther into the darkness or is this the way to the light?
The trepidation building inside as you keep asserting yourself in forward motion. Unable to stop, fearing what may be lurking in the dark, can not stop now your only wish is for a light. Chest heaving as you turn a corner, stopping abruptly as just ahead is the dull shimmer of light. Hastily moving towards the solace of the illumination ahead, the feeling overcomes you so strong, the feeling of dread.
As your breathing slows and the glow from the streetlight grows, it occurs to you what if your safer in the darkness wrapped in the night? What if you fear is awaiting for you to see, whats been right there with you the entire time. The questions race through your mind as you move slower now one step at a time.
If what you have been running from wasn’t the darkness but what you feared was there. As your mind races you become more aware. The sound of others rapid breathing now ringing in your ears. If it so happens that going the fiends of the night have been with you through this entire plight. What if they attack when they are visible and the blanket of protection has been the night you’ve been running from.
Continuing forward every so slowly now, questioning the safety of the light as you hear branches breaking behind you in the night. Are you safer here in pitch darkness, should you now run from the light. Your mind is in shambles, racing to know. The heart in your chest heavy with dred, what if you step into the light and the monsters are fed.
As you stand on the outermost circle of light you see movement beyond the circle in the darkness of night. The heavy panting evident now. One more step that’s what it will take to release you from fear or seal your fate.
When the wheels begin to turn, for some more often and consistent for some than for others. Mine happens to be the former and because of that, rest is at times a battle. Isn’t amazing the interesting things that come out of nowhere, just bam and there it is right out of thin air.
I have a pretty wild imagination and I must say there is not one ounce of me that is afraid to use it. Lately, I have been catching myself daydreaming and smiling from ear to ear, having forgotten how that feels and although I generally laugh often, sometimes I am guilty of forgetting my smile.
Through all the turmoil, every struggle, challenge and battle even within ourselves there has to be a purge. The casting out of the negative and the refueling of the positive, the child like carefree spirit that helps us to remember what things are truly important.
My barriers have fueled my soul, making it so that it’s no longer an overcoming, instead, I’ve learned to latch onto that wave and ride it right through the storm, smiling while enjoying the ride. It’s easy to lose yourself and so easy to let the harshness envelope you.
Knowing that there are more people chasing glitter and losing the diamond. So many diamonds never have a chance to shine, let alone a chance to see their true value. So in a world that keeps encouraging an image of perfection. By all means, I have no sound definition of the word perfection as I was taught to live outside the boundaries of that detrimental word.
The cracks are where I’ve been broken and the gold has filled them anew, making it stronger to carry me through. All the colors represent something to me, laughter, joy, excitement, and pain. It was upon the realization the ability to strengthen oneself has always been there.
That’s when the memories came flooding back in and a little girl was sitting on her daddy’s knee telling him how she would have a house of daisies and would fly around in bubbles, she would talk to caterpillars and she would ride on the backs of dragonflies, flowers would talk and superheroes were definitely real. The world was full of wonder and possibility. Still believing in mystery and heart-felt charisma. Happiness is where the key lies.
In a moment of wanting to share something other than the same old pics I remembered how important imagination was, how to have that same happiness and carefree soul and it has been right here inside one’s soul, you just have to know how to reclaim it. Deciding I don’t want a bunch of what if’s and if only’s in my life, this soul feels pretty damn nice with its cracks and empty holes and the wonderful thing is, there is so much left I have yet to find to fill its space.
The feeling of wet hair falling over my neck, the entire front of me drenched as I stand here in the dark, only a slight gleam from the silvery glow of the moon shining through the window pane. Unaware of why I was standing here, soaked to the skin and where was I as the orientation of my current placement was not even so much as a memory.
Unable to see much of my surroundings, giving it a good try to remember what had happened and come up empty. Slowly turning and walking towards the window, carrying myself on weighted legs so it seemed. Sliding the curtain back a break in the darkness and a gasp escaped my lips.
Everything was covered in a dark substance. On the floor the outline of a mass and in my left hand I still carried something. Shivers began to creep down my spine as my knees began to waver. In the moonlight my eyes began to focus and the realization that this was a bedroom and I was standing here naked covered in a dark liquid and in one hand something soft and wet. The search ensued to locate a lamp with dire urgency and figure out where I was, exactly.
Stumbling across the room, bare feet slipping on the hard, wet floor. A surge of pain tore through me as I bit my lip attempting to keep upright. Whatever had exploded and showered this room was sticky and severely slick. Dropping what was clenched in my hand, I ran my fingers along the wall, hoping for a switch.
What was the last thing that I remember? My head was filled with darkness and nothing came immediately to mind. What was I doing, who was I with? Why couldn’t I remember. The tips of my fingers ceaselessly searching. A flash in front of my eyes, a dinner party, I had gone to a dinner party. In the Avery mansion with, with, I went with no one. The car came for me and carried me out to the mansion.
Where were my shoes, my purse, my dress? Just what had happened tonight anyway. Had I been ruffied? Slowly slumping to the floor as a shock came over me that in all these years that I must have been drugged. So cold, beginning to shiver either from being so scared of not knowing or the fact that I felt like ice, pure and slick and frozen. Seated on the floor, eyes gazing about clouds must have covered the moonlight as the illumination in the room had dimmed and was hardly noticeable at all. There it was, the bedside lamp.
Everything was moving so slow my vision clouded and my entire being felt as if I was moving a solid block of ice. How many minutes had passed as I sat slumped against the wall? The searing pain that stabbed up from my belly as I stood came out of my throat as a curdled scream, surely someone heard me. It was mere feet away, but every inch felt like a mile and with a sense of urgency gnawing inside of me there was no choice but to move.
I reached the bed, sat down hard and realized that I indeed was freezing. Whatever was in my drink was working a hard fast number on my inside and out. Had I been poisoned? Now I knew these people, most of them. The pain inside my stomach tore through my core violently, forcing me back on the bed as I screamed a shrieking howl formed seeming to go on for hours. Laying there looking at the ceiling I had to move something was pushing the matter, it felt like a frantic panic to hurry.
Sitting up every bone cracked and muscles seemed to creak. As the tops of my fingers gripped the lamp switch and the light blaired belligerently in my eyes, blinding me. Everything went white and my face was burning. Shielding my eyes with my hands I began to survey the room. There was a large mirror on the other end of the room near the window. As color swam back into my vision all there was to see was brown, no it was red, everything was red.
The large canopy bed was covered in red and the far end was soaked in it. Leaning forward, crawling to the other side and peering over the edge the sight that awaited me filled me with emptiness. Nothing there was nothing there, no cringing, no need to vomit nothing. Staring at the lifeless lump that lay curled in a pile, wait there were two. Now that I was able to focus, I saw the woman slumped on the chaise in the reading nook, there was no blood near her.
An on looker would have seen that at the exact moment the scene struck my eyes, my tongue graced my lips with a hungry need. The noise that came from deep inside my core was one of hunger and pride. The man splayed out on the floor lie in a pool of blood, the skin from his throat had been shredded away, a huge gaping hole was ripped in the middle of his chest. I remembered now, he had jumped from the bed in a hurry as I stood over them. He tried to save them. My teeth pierced his throat with a hungry lust ripping his flesh as I consumed his blood. Punching my fist through his chest I had grabbed his heart, feed on that until its last weak little pulse.
Stepping down from the bedside, gliding towards the woman and the mirror on the wall. The wetness that had covered me was garnet red, now dried covering every inch down the front of me. There was no feeling of panic, no feeling of dread, I should have been shocked or sick as the sight that was before me and there was nothingness, nothing but coldness.
The woman looked as though she was sleeping. Only the small marks on her lips and throat would have led anyone to think differently. Her skin was pale and she was not breathing. The memory came back to me just then, she had gotten out of the bed, naked and warm. She had been panicked yet she was easy to lure, deviant creature filled with lust. It was easy to kiss her lips, she was almost begging as I punctured her lower lip in her first kiss and the taste of her mineral rich blood. She enjoyed it, even licked at her own blood as it ran into my mouth. Her last breath was in pleasure or so under veil of trance so it seemed. There was no need to hear her, feel her, as there was an innate knowledge and a scent of emptiness that confirmed it. The mirror stood directly opposite me as I stood there, not ready to look. I had to look a fright I was certain of it.
I glanced back to the bedroom area, drawn by a smell, metallic and sweet, feeling my lips twitch and nostrils flare the sound of laughter struck me, until I realized that it had been coming from me. Turning my eyes to the mirror now and in the reflection, the truth was all there was to see. The woman in the chaise in her endless sleep, the book cases behind her and not one sign of me. Lifting my hand to see nothing reflecting back at me.
His voice preceded him in a wave, soothing and strong. No recollection of him entering the room. He stood there, a strong smirk on his face one finger across his lips. His large eyes reeled me in as his other hand reached out for me and the curtains billowed in the non-existent breeze as he beckoned to me. The hands of my heart gripped tight to my soul he says “Quickly it’s time now to go, Oh I’ve missed you so” with the strength in his alluring smile, the emerging daylight just catching the sharpness within his grin.
Walking in the darkness of night, heart retching, trying to absorb the sense that the one who held her heart completely was so violently snatched from her arms. Reeling in adrenaline and insecurities, reaching for retribution, reasoning and strength. Too hard to let that love slip away, too easy to hope for another day. Looking and longing to understand to find another soul to comprehend at this crossroads filled with anxiety and pain. Needing that feeling to live again.
As the heart races in panic, stomach drops weightless inside, as the tears are held back yet glisten sorrowful eyes. Hands shaking with uncertain trembles, shallow breaths as the throat dries and narrows at the pain that is held, stars cross her eyes. Emotions remain unspoken as the tinge of blood taints the tongue from biting down to steady the repugnance that might be set free.
Words are in unison whispered and uttered in poisonous tongue, lashing and gashing at the soul of one. “Stupid worthless good for nothing cunt” Is all she hears sprayed through spittle from the guy she thought she knew. Watching as the world spins round, knowing there is nothing left to be found. When words are laced with silver and led, when the heart has all but been bled.
Wondering at what lays ahead, where is the will and strength of yesterday. Has that gone cold too and left dismay, for nothing in human will is good enough to stay. Cold hardness stings across the skin, swollen and darkened and ripping flesh, down she falls. No one to hear the shallow cries, no one at all.
There’s no hope in this world, nothing left at all. As crimson drips fill the eyes and a searing pain screams through torn flesh as it’s tender now and swelling fast. Sobbing with resistant thrashing as a slicing burn sets free from her throat, just let this be, she thinks just let this set you free.
Scraping flesh as her elbows grind upon gravel and the blade sets in and true pain begins. Screaming in silence as no sounds form, the aerated froth came in gurgles spewing from her throat, as the bloody rouge cascades over her chest, soaking her in wet warmth. A foggy consciousness between wake and dream, a nightmare or so it seems.
The attempt to remain lucid and not fall into the enclosing dark, the ripping and tearing of her flesh riveting her body in overwhelming pain. As the red sets in how can this happen, how did this begin. Her mind chasing thoughts and memories In the place between life and death, stay awake, stay awake for one’s own sake.
The metallic taste on the tongue as it swells the. The feeling as her will and desire of strength slowly fade. The pain too intense to attempt even the tiniest of movements, striving to scream, failing in gurgled guttural mutters. Once his deed was exhausted as he scampered away, the sound the souls of his shoes made on the pavement echoed like haunting ghostly gasps.
Looking for redemption, a gleam maybe so far away. Yes, for it is the only way. Reaching and pleading as every muscle cramped in pain, what seems like eons as the stake has been claimed. Peering through the slits left black and tinged deep red, no longer seeing the blood as it disgorged down her neck and over bosoms left bare.
“Are you an angel, it’s that far gone?” it never crossed her lips in form. Clinging to this beautiful soul begging for life between muffled cries. For the remnant of existence left to ponder the why.
As her world, depleted and fleeted from her shell the sound of rambling mufflers rang in her ears, the smell of blood, sweat and exhaust filled her senses as she slowly began to let go. “Hold on honey, hold on” the last raspy words that rang in her ear as she felt his cool smooth gloves slip behind her head.
She opened her eyes with barely slits for her view. As she strained to speak, there were no words that came. The pain coursed through every pore. Unable to see, no words to speak her attempts to move impossible, everything was torn, bruised and broken. Though she could barely make out the black boots that stood by her bedside, her heart quickened and panic began to take hold. “Relax honey your okay”. The raspy voice and the leather gloved hand of the angel man as her tears began to flow. There is beauty in the darkness where heroes come to light.
Heart racing in furious beat, sweat glistening on her forehead, in a moment of weakness as her heart wilted inside. Lifting her head slowly to the crimson splattered room, the tears began to roll down her checks in waves. In an instant her skin had fallen cold as she heaved in disgust and horror at the scene that unfolded before her.
Internally trembling as her center was removed and flowed through retching sobs, hitting in the floor in patters. Would she have the ability to recover from this unexpected terror that ripped her soul apart. Is there life after love.
These were the questions that would eventually hit her like the slap of cold steel across her face. Unable to hold his head, the tremendous hole left gaping, skin and matter melded into a thick and sticky goo. His blue crystal eyes now lifeless as his head laid back and his shoulders slumped. The girl fell to the floor in an unspoken, non existent thud, wrapping her arms around her knees, broken. Unable to take the pain, eventually shutting down and taking leave of her senses as she rocked herself into a deep dark chasm of unknown emptiness.
She woke in darkness to a panicked screaming “NO NO NO”. It was emanating from her as she was running in circles. Stopped in her tracks by a silvery, smooth, deep voice addressing her “Don’t cry, there is nothing that your tears can purchase here my dear.” She felt the pressure and heat of his large hand on her shoulder, the singe of pain as it melted her skin. Her flesh crawling she fell to her knees, not noticing that as she hit the tarry ground the skin instantly melted away from her knees. His grasp never left her shoulder as he proceeded around until he was in front of her. His pointy finger nail ran across her cheek and sliced her skin like a razor, she was no longer able to cry.
Peering up into a face that was all too familiar with it’s blazing eyes and flesh of flaked armour, his sinister smile broke just then into a blood curdling laugh that shook the entire chasm. In that moment she saw around her all the many temptations she had triumphed over and remained grounded from. The garnet glow illuminating the charred rugged room gave her spectral visual orgasm as the snarling demon pierced her chest.
His snarling growl echoed as the other, once human forms in their dismal eternal existence indulged in their sinful serenity, her heart still beating in his hand. Still squirting life giving substance covering his hand and splattering over her as she knelt there. Her eyes held disbelief and an unexpected emotion. The demons snarl quieted if only for a moment as he saw it deep in her green eyes. Something that he had not seen often. Her red hair cascading over her face almost made it seem a flicker of the last of her life as it drained, no this was something more. As she gazed at the hellish fiend, aware that she should have cease to exist minutes ago. It was a refusal from deep within her, not familiar with how this felt. She began to rise, the wound in her chest, where now only a glowing welt remained. The organ that should have been there, charred in the hands of the hellion, cease to beat. Her insides trembled as she stood, facing her crimson heathen, whose snarl was now a true growling tangle of spear sharp daggers, spittle escaping down his elongated chin. She rose, no heartbeat driving her. She only tilted her head in wonder and terror as she looked with starry eyes into the engrossing red orbs of his.
A flash of ruby red to her left caught her attention. She turned to see a sight that should have signed her right to expire right then, yet no tears came. She saw herself embraced in the arms of her lover. his hands ran through her hair, they kissed and smiled at each other. The sorrow at the vision that she was seeing should have ached terribly. Instead she turned to the demon, a welling drive pushing her, a soft voice in her head urging her “stand now”.
Her feet waned and she swayed on them as she met this cruel crimson stare. “NO. You demonic fool. I resign nothing to you. Have my heart for it no longer matters as you already deemed destruction of it when you claimed my man. Lest you forgot a little piece of every human puzzle. No matter how tragic the wreckage may be, there is this thing called will. You took my heart, you had my soul, you removed my center and now I look at you in this pit and stare into your glazed eyes, I will go on. The one thing that you can not have control over is the strength of ones will.”
The Devil looked at her and the growl became a sinister smile. Reaching for her face he drew her near, uttering these words “You are mine, I will come again little one, I will come again and in time your so called will shall certainly wane and writher, you are weak.” As she faced him she gathered her strength as his hand covered her glowing welted chest and she crumbled to the ground.
Sometime had passed as she walked down the sidewalk, rain began fall softly, caressing her in a cool cascade. The man that was walking toward her wearing a black duster, she noticed but really hadn’t put thought into it. They exchanged smiles as they passed. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face him as she realized that knew that smile of sharp tangled daggers. The man continued to walk away from her.
She sat in the restaurant as her date for the evening slide into his chair across from her. The candles glow casting a warm glow on his face, his blue eyes allowing her heart to melt just a little as he smiled at her, he was beautiful. The man in the duster came in without haste, traversed from the door to the table as if he was floating. He came right to their table. Tilting his head at the red headed woman and snarled there was a loud scream as the newcomer pulled a large sharp knife from his duster and razed it’s shiny blade across her jugular. Her green eyes locked on her date. She was alert just long enough to see the sharp knife enter the center of her lovers throat.
The newcomer smiled, bared his tangled snarly daggers and he laughed wildly as she hunched over, eyes empty.
Feel the pulsing beat in each and every pore. You clipped my wings so I am unable to sore, elusive thing
A heart pumping even as it’s wilted decay embraces me.
Where does strength lie, when the soul tarnished and weeping, screams.
How does the strength remain to open piercing eyes with the waking sun.
Where does the strength come from.
Do you love once and never again. Does the heart keep that impression and let emptiness seep in.
Do the dreams, faded and shattered ever have a chance to live.
How is there strength to lift another,
Give without want, with emptiness returned.
Do tears fall in silence, unnoticed, do they accumulate in a realm away for a another day.
Does truth walk away, are lies all that remain.
Is a soul always stained by love shattered in pain
Is hope the nightmare that reigns
is there strength in arms that embrace
Is all that remains of love and empty space.
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Sting of cold steel as her palm crossed my cheek. She was screaming and crazed tears flowed from her eyes as she ran away. Standing there in shock as I lifted my hand to my face, flushed and stinging. The cold rain pelting down harder, soaking me as I stood there. Cloaking the tears that streamed from my eyes. All gazes were upon me in the dark, neon shimmering off the whetted pavement as I turned and walked inside the darkened building.
Still in shock as I stepped to the bar, a rather overly dressed gentleman stated in a heavy, raspy voice “You look like her sister, that’s why she was so upset, you see her sister is dead. You my dear, are a mirror image.”. Still thinking that this was a bit over the top as I had said nothing to the woman, walked around to the other side of the bar and ordered my drink. All hope was high that my friends would arrive soon and we could begin on our little adventure.
Several drinks later, admittedly they were going down rather too easily, Jarrod and the other 3 strolled in the door. I hailed them over and ordered a round of drinks and Jarrod began by telling us his plans for the evening. He wanted to set up cameras in the old Case Mansion outside of town. We could all stay out there and see if the place truly lived up to it’s haunting claims. As slick as Jarrod is he had it already prearranged. A ghost hunt it was then. Exiting the bar I passed the overdressed man, he winked and tipped his glass with a foul smirk that gave me a chill. I really had to get out of these wet clothes.
As the plans were being ironed out I advised Jarrod and the gang that I was going to the house to change and would meet up with them after a few. Protesting, Kerri began to throw her usual tantrum over being included in everything. “Let’s go Kerri and I’m not in the mood so just be quiet okay!” I exclaimed to the group as Kerri and I walked to my truck parked across the street. Not having the patience to deal with the immaturity of Kerri, I walked at a brisk pace leaving her in the puddles behind me. Climbing into the drivers seat and turning the key I noticed The reflection that Kerri’s form had as it approached the passengers side door, it resembled a decapitated form. Brushing off another chill as she climbed in and we drove off.
“Kerri, you know that the guys are going to try and pull pranks on us right? You have to be prepared and not act like a scared little girl, be expecting it.” Staring straight ahead as we headed up the one lane gravel road leading up to Case Mansion. “Yes I know, but sometimes I can’t help it, they really scare me” Kerri, all of a young tart who always seemed lost in her own head. She was sweet but annoying and had no business being on a paranormal investigation, as her shadow scared her stiff. “Honey you just stay with me okay, stay with me.” I told her firmly as we pulled up the circular drive and came to a stop in front of the magnificently creepy old grey brick mansion. The things that ran through my head, knowing Jarrod, Mike and Ben as well as I did, we were going to be in for a long night.
I watched as Kerri slide out of the passengers side just as a lightning bolt cracked across the sky and she let out a scream, I couldn’t help but laugh. Pulling the backpack from behind the seat I closed the door and there she was a frightened girl, looking panicked right under my heels. “Come on”. I grabbed her arm and we walked up the wide steps to the heavy wooden doors. Once inside an instant wave of nausea overcame me, taking a few moments to gather myself and fight back the image of the decapitated shadow in my head. “Come on”, Kerri said seemingly animated now as she twirled farther into the foyer. This place was humongous. Heavy wood work and stone covered in dust, yet one could still see the underlying beauty. It was as if I had been caught in a trance as Ben came up behind me, kissed me on the top of the head and said “Come in shorty” as he chuckled and entered into a room on the left.
Ben, no there was a character standing over 6’3″ tall with a fun-loving personality and a huge heart, even if he wanted the world to think he was a mean and tough. He was all of those things and a great friend whom I trusted with my life. Walking into the other room, dropping the bag on the floor, it seemed that the guys had already set up the equipment as we all stood there staring at the multiple screens in anticipation. The top right screen flickered momentarily and again a chill passed over me, only this time my physical shudder was visible, almost wracking my body in my shoes. Jarrod and Mike were talking, although, I wasn’t paying any attention as to what they were saying. I got lost in this house and began to wander, having forgotten all about the 4 others.
Some time had passed, although having no recollection of leaving the initial room or coming up the stairs and entering the bathroom, still graced with the presence of an old brass tub. Cobwebs and dust covering every inch of the room. Every inch except the window, which stood open in the dark as the flash of lighting illuminated the darkened room. I jumped a foot when in the instant flash I swore I saw a man sitting on the commode. With another flash I realized it was the style of water-closet with the tank on top. An I realized that I had wandered off with no flashlight at all. Standing there in the dark, thunder began to crash and a momentary flight of panic grabbed hold of me as I looked at the doorway, so dark in here.
The raw burning sensation that had presented itself on my back began to sting. I must have bumped into something wandering around in the dark. Entering the hallway there was a shrill scream from downstairs. My heart began to race as I started moving closer to the stairway stumbling down in the dark. Walking into the front room where I had left everyone, what seemed like only moments before, the screens were all snowy and there were blood stains spattered across them. As I continued farther into the room, the blood spatter explained itself as there was Kerri in a pool of it, her head severed from her neck, still pulsing small squirts of crimson goo as I stared in disbelief.
Backing up against the wall, surveying my surroundings as best I could in a moment of complete panic. Kerri, poor Kerri, but the killer had to be right here, as she screamed only moments before. This room was slightly aglow and I was certain that the killer, whomever he was could see my exact location. The blood rushed to my face as fight or flight kicked me in the ass as I crouched to the floor. Just what the hell was going on here. Once the light from the monitors was above me and I was in relative darkness, slowly sliding my way around the door jam into the next room. Pitch black in here and for all I knew either Kerri’s killer was in here with me, or this was a huge prank by the boys, which by the look of Kerri laying out there, this was no joke.
Once again I was standing in the bathroom upstairs that I had just come from, staring at a portrait in front of me. A haggled woman with tangled hair, bruised skin and bloody hands. Her clothes were torn and soiled and her eyes fiery fierce. Turning toward the door, with the glow of moonlight the image that I had been staring at turned in time with me. In a state of horror and panic lifting my hands to my face, indeed blood soaked and trembling. Transcending across the room to the hallway, as if I were floating I heard footsteps moving towards me in the dark. Terror ran cold through my veins as I stood still, back against the wall, attempting to plan my escape. Legs trembling beneath me and breath catching in my chest as Ben appeared at the opposite end of the hall. Oh relief, “Ben” I shouted and again “Ben” he just stood there and stared at me for a moment and began down the stairs. “Ben don’t go down there, there’s a killer in here, Ben”. He continued down the stairs.
Following Ben downstairs, he walked right out the front door. Attempting to chase after him, I ran and back in the upstairs bathroom I was, running towards the door. In the flicker of the moonlight through the open window there was a form laying in the tub. Leaning in close I recognized it to be Mike. Mike was sitting in a tub of his own blood arms in his lap, his throat torn apart and a shredded mess was left where his adams apple once was, head laid back. There was no fear at this point, I wanted out, wanting to find Ben. I resumed back down the stairs again. Bounding down each step as the chill inside me rattled my body once more. At the front door the sound of a whimper come on the breeze from the open door. That was no whimper that was the sound of creaking as the rope that Jarrod was hanging by swung with his weight against the old tree.
Stepping out onto the porch. The bright lights scorching my eyes as the focus came back to them. There was Ben, he was being forced into the back of a car. It was then that he looked at me. That sting across my face, smoldering as he mouthed the words “You never left my friend”. I heard the cop asking him what they were doing out here and Ben responded with “We were hoping to catch a glimpse of an old friend on our equipment. I guess it didn’t go as planned, do you think you’ll catch the guy?” The officer still leaning at the back of the car told Ben “You’re lucky to have made it out. Something has been wrong with this place since the Case girl was thrown from the 3rd floor, her dress catching her by the neck and hanging her from the daggered window eave, practically decapitating her.” Facing the portrait, once again back in the upstairs bathroom the moon glowing, radiating inside the room and Mike with his head flayed backwards. Lifting my hand to the mirror, as my fingers caressed the frame, now the scene before me was the view of the bathroom in it’s entirety as I looked down. Behind me ghastly hands gently, fervently tugging. The loose grip of my finger tips on the mirror frame gave way and darkness greeted me with a shiver down my spine.
Stepping out into the cool, autumn air of the evening, pulling my coat ever closer to my body the dampness hung in the air like mist. With flashlight in hand I knew where I had to go and with this storm approaching it was certain need to head there quickly. Stepping through the trees, whose branches had lost all but a few leaves, been surrendered to the earth and crunched lightly under foot as each step drew me deeper into the darkened woods.
The night was thick amongst the trees, the only noise was the crackling of twigs and the crunching of leaves beneath my feet. Traversing ever closer to the old building in the back of the property, a sound, almost a whisper caught my attention. Stopping in my tracks to have a closer listen. There was indeed a mans whisper, gentle and sweet. Unable to pinpoint the source of the sound I stood there, turning off the flashlight just to listen. And the whispering did not stop. “My day is done my dear, I’m sorry please forgive me”.
Slowly placing one foot in front of the other, carefully moving, ever nearer to the sound. In all the years I walked back here, having never come across a single person. After-all this was my property and no one should be here anyway. The soft whispered voice turned into a louder conversation, although I was only hearing one side of it. After moving forward about 20 paces I stopped once again to have a listen. No sound came back, walking forward once again the voice began to ring through the trees. “You couldn’t understand, there was a hole, it’s deep my dear”.
My curiosity was insanely peaked at this and moving closer, I could see the form of a man sitting on the edge of a rock, his head placed back against the tree. No time to really stand here and watch what this guy was doing, but just what was he doing back here and who was he talking too? The decision came to me to go to the old building lock it up and then confront him on the way back. Proceeding slower than was desired however as I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. The building, standing there solemnly creepy as it always was. Until the open door caught my attention. No one had been back here for the better part of month or more. As I stood there staring at the door and contemplating, the rain began to fall like cold daggers against my cheeks.
Turning the flashlight on and walking into the building, every hair on the back of neck was standing on end and a shiver coursed down my spine. My breath caught in my chest as I flipped the creaky light switch. Yes everything was in its place including what seemed to be the imprint of the memory from so many years ago. Crimson spatter covered everything from inside the old car, the door hung open on the driver’s side. My mouth hung open as if on hinges and the flashlight dropped from my hand rolling its way under the work bench, casting an eerie glow. The fear and panic crept back up inside and a scream of sheer terror escaped me, unable to catch my breath as the tears rolled down my cheeks.
The radio was blaring an all to familiar song, and I wondered how long had this been going on or was this just a figment of my imagination. Was I projecting my deepest pain onto what I was seeing? Closing my eyes, and taking a deep breath, the music still casting its dead melody. Opening my eyes, nothing had changed, the scene still remained. This could not be, I had been out here every summer all season long for ten years to look after this car, this building, the tools and lawn mower and other equipment. What was displayed before my eyes was an impossibility. Still with weakened knees I had to go and see, the urge to know overwhelmed me as the driver’s side of the car seemed to beckon to me.
My mind moved forward and yet my feet remained as if sealed in concrete, unable to move. With a push of forceful will, one small step and gut wrenching urge to vomit came over me. Gathering my wits I took those steps bringing me closer to the driver’s side door. Blood spatter so thick it was an impossibility to see anything beyond the splattered glass. The song began it’s aching tune one again, words didn’t even register as I stepped into full view of the interior of the car, grey no longer, now bloody crusted crimson and speckled with matter. Again fighting the urge to fall down to my knees. Heart pounding in my chest and stomach turning back on itself.
The tears came in fits of anger and rage, skin on fire and with every heartbeat veins pounded, what I had expected, or whom was absent. I did fall to the cement floor on my knees in waves of relief, sobbing and cussing this irritating song,shut up. This was my imagination or things gone terrible wrong between the veil of both worlds. Surely there was no way this was real.
Clenching my eyes shut tight, wishing this vision to leave my sight. Sitting there as time passed, not aware of how long. Opening my eyes in sheer panic at the thought, if he’s not here, where did had he gone? Gathering myself, the slap of reality at the door being opened and the sight of the man in the woods, the empty drivers seat raced through my head. The rain had commenced pounding ever so much harder outside. In my panic I forgot about the radio playing that blasted song on repeat and everything else as I walked out the door into the darkest of pitch and pouring rain. In terror and disbelief driving me ahead. From this I can not run.
The night was dark and the rain came pelting down as cold as ice, melting in an instant on my feverish skin. The pounding in my chest from the adrenaline rush took over every part of my being. Where did he go, was he here, was that him by the tree, who was he talking to, in an instant even before my brain was thinking my feet were running back down the path, for one more chance to see him again. Sprinting to the tree where he had been, he was no longer there, only a large slick rock.
Sitting on the rock for a moment, heart-broken once more. Once more chance to see that smile, those eyes if only for one more chance. From behind came a sound just a little louder than a whisper “I knew you’d come”. Terror took its hold on me and I was frozen in place. The overwhelming want to see him again, the pain the terror of what I was about to see and in a miraculously magic moment I felt absolutely nothing. No heart pounding, no cold rain, no panic, pain or fear. Every part of my being had gone completely and utterly numb.
Standing and turning to face the voice, I felt like I was floating. The only thing to do was stare, in front me he stood, bloody and smiling with his hand-held out. Without hesitation my hand extended to his. The rain poured down my face masking my tears. It was then as fingers tips touched finger tips that dread began to rise inside me. Icy fingers tips reaching for mine, his smile had gone and what I saw in those unnaturally blackened eyes, flinching drawing my hand away. Waves of tears embracing me as I saw him just standing in front of me, and the stark realization he was no longer who I’d thought he’d be.
“My dear it’s time for me to go, come hither now or forever let me go”. Possessing the relentless longing to give in to that voice, the once so missed. In the weakest voice that was able to be mustered, standing there shaking in sobs I gave my final, painful goodbye. “My love with all my heart yes it is that time. Time for me to let you go”.
A shiver passed over me when I awoke freezing. The covers on the bed were twisted in knots about me, soaked and sweating profusely. My mind swam in a sleepy haze and apprehension, my hair was drenched and my left finger tips were numb. Exiting the bed I went into the bathroom, catching a glimpse of myself looking a fright in the mirror. Upon looking back into the bedroom was when I noticed the muddy footprints I left soiled on the carpet behind me.
Looking in the mirror I whispered “Goodbye”
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